boo hoo!!! my spring break isn't as excited as i wanted it to be. oh well. i mean the like first 3 to 4 days were good but yeasterday actually made my week. my dearest friend caitlin (yeah same name as me...whoopsidy do da) but anywhoz...we both havea friend named Ashley and well Ash got 4 tickets to Jesse McCartney concert. now if u really knew me you'd know how much i ADORE HIM!!!!! gosh he's my favorite singer!!! but so Ash asked caitlin (my friend) if she wanted to go...she sed she would but that she should ask me since i'm more of a fan. so i mite be going. hopefully....caitlin's working her magic for me. no one has EVER done this for me....but also I REALLY MISS THE SENIORS AND KELLS AND ELIZABETH!!!!!!!! ugh but yesterday(wednesday) BRITTNEY came home and i saw Tiffany. it was great but it wasn't the same. there were only like 30 peeps there. oh well....so next wednesday i'm gonna try to make it memorable....it's my mom's b-day...blake's b-day..and kells' last nite. i don't know what i'm gonna do....i made a poster yesterday for kells...some peeps started signing it....but i think i'm gonna go buy another BIG poster for Blake. And maybe buy him his favorite candy...SKITTLES. it's ironic...that's my nickname. hehehe...don't ask...long story.....
I don't know if i've posted this yet...but i wanted to share with all my love ones out there....
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He listens.
He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose your heart.
Face it, friend--He is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain,
Laughter without sorrow,
Sun without rain,
But He did promise strength for the day,
Comfort for the tears,
And light for the way.
wouldn't that be a great opening prayer...i've actually thought about asking Kells to share with this to the red room. it helps me thru my rough times. i have a nother one but i'll save that for another time. okay...i think i'm gonna get this off my chest now rather then holding it 'til wednesday nite...
The sunday before Kells broke the horrible but lifechanging news...i got into a fight with a really close friend. name will be unmentioned unless you know whom i'm talking about. We were getting ready to go somewhere and my friend yelled at me telling me not to come. but i had to cuz my ride was someone else who was joining this person. so we get to the restaurant and my friend embarasses me in front of my other peer and some peeps sitting round us. so the next day i confronted it(can't say gender...sorry) and i did it thru email. well i got a response and my friend really blew it out of proportion...called me psycho and everything. so we didn't talk 'til wednesday after kells told us and i was crying hysterically. i mean i was shaking kinda hard (ask brittney) i hugged every1 around me...tiff,britt,brie,anyone who i could lean on ro share my pain with. so after the service me britt were on our way out to Wendy's and i approached my friend to apologize for anything that i did. all my friend could say was "it wasn't you.." then gave it a hug...and walked out. i was really upset...i thought i'd lost two people who meant so much in my life in just 3 days time. then yesterday i found out i was soon losing another friend for who knows how long. she told me she had enlisted herself into the army. i couldnt breathe. i promise my heart felt like it stopped forever. to make matters worse...literally my heart stopped again 20 minutes ago...i found out that another one of my was involved in drugs and had violated his thingy. i don't know what to do. i keep thinking my world is starting to tumble and that Satan has finally broken a hole in my steel wall protecting my heart. i mean it was bad today...everything was going thru my head as if i was in whirlpool or sinking in quicksand. today was the first day in forever that i actually wanted to go out and smoke.
don't worry i convinced myself that i was gonna be okay...that God has a purpose for me and all those who are suffering. man...what a relief....well it's 11:59 pm....and i'm tired...ugh. i love you and will hopefully see all of you on Sunday in one piece. i love you and miss those who are not here right now especially the seniors. God Bless ya'll!!!!!!! :muah: *c*
(wow...i think this is the longest blog on either myspace or xanga i've ever written...hehe)
